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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28855806">maybe this life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/meclanitea/pseuds/meclanitea'>meclanitea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A3! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Pining, Reincarnation, hahahaha, hurt/comfort/and fluff? lol, only Kazu remembers, passing mention of deaths of their previous lives</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:55:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,284</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28855806</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/meclanitea/pseuds/meclanitea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In every life, Kazunari remembers Tsuzuru the moment they meet again. Tsuzuru doesn't know a thing.</p><p>--</p><p>Reincarnation AU for TsuzuKazu Week Day 6: AU</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minagi Tsuzuru/Miyoshi Kazunari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>TsuzuKazu Week 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>maybe this life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A major character's death is only talked about in passing because well, it's a reincarnation au after all.</p><p>They have different names for every life except the first and the present day.</p><p>Yes, this is being posted early for well reasons;;</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Of course it's in the middle of courting a lovely girl interested in his paintings that Kazunari realizes, "Oh, that's Tsuzuru, isn't it?"</p><p>The memories come flooding back in like a tidal wave and Kazunari doesn't know if he should buck in the gravity of all he remembers.</p><p>In the middle of France, at the peak of the renaissance period, with his yellow hair (it's amazing to see it in anything but black), he's not the Kazunari childhood friends with the scholar Tsuzuru, he's-</p><p>"Bastien? Are you alright, Bas?" Right. Here, he is Sebastien, up and coming artist with the dreams of having exhibitions alongside the greats.</p><p>"I'm sorry my lady, I think I recognize an acquaintance, if you would excuse me."</p><p>Acquaintance. If you can call someone virtually your soulmate in another life but you have never met in your current life an acquaintance, sure.</p><p>He fields through the crowds and even though he looks entirely different (he's not Japanese for one, and his hair is a deep red instead of black), Kazunari is inexplicably certain that the man in front of him is his Tsuzuru.</p><p>"Oh why if it isn't little Lord Aubert! Jules, have you met with Lord Sebastien?"</p><p>‘Jules’. It suits him, Kazunari thinks.</p><p>Tsuzuru looks at him skeptically and he tries to plaster on the friendliest smile he is able to.</p><p>"No, I don't believe so. Nice to meet you, I am Julian Lambert, pleased to meet you." He offers up his hand, no sign of recognition evident.</p><p>"Pleased."</p><p>
  <em> Nice to meet you again, thank god we could meet again. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>This life ends in heartbreak. Although they become great friends, Tsuzuru ends up marrying while Kazunari's career takes off, just like his original self had wanted.</p><p>He should be happy. Last time, he only made it to 30 years old and who knows how long Tsuzuru had lived after him. It wasn't the safest time period or the most stable, but now they get to die with old age, surrounded by loved ones.</p><p>Kazunari should be happy, but seeing the man he loves share his life with someone else seems to be a pain he just can't get over.</p><p> </p><p>Russia, Thailand, Chile, Taiwan. That's only a few of their next few lives that Kazunari remembers. It doesn’t start from childhood, no. He simply sees the version of Tsuzuru in his lifetime, whether it be an elderly or a toddler, and of any gender, and the bits and pieces from the previous lives come trickling back in his mind.</p><p>Sometimes Tsuzuru falls in love with him again; sometimes, they meet once and never again.</p><p>Each time, Tsuzuru never remembers; Kazunari does for the both of them. He’s called Tsuzuru “Martin”, “Rosie”, “Xiao Mei”, “Budi” and so many other names , but Kazunari still thinks "Tsuzuru" is his favorite.</p><p> </p><p>It's funny how things work out. Kazunari decides on Fukou high school last minute because it has a good prep and art program. His parents had been so surprised by his sudden change in demeanor but things feel right.</p><p>The first year has him absolutely boggled. Kazunari goes from eating alone to eating with someone different almost every day. He learns to talk to strangers and finds that he actually really likes it. While he’s not wholly comfortable (he talks so much but the words for any sort of confrontation gets stuck in his throat), it’s much better than listlessly going through life alone.</p><p>But then, second year comes rolling around and hits him like a truck.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s your name?” he yells out to the freshman. It’s the first time in the lives that he actually remembers that he’s been named “Kazunari” again. If by any small chance the universe will give him this one thing he’s been asking for hundreds of years, he’d be over the moon.</p><p>“Tsuzuru Minagi.”</p><p>Ah.</p><p>Ah.</p><p>Ah, Tsuzuru, finally.</p><p> </p><p>Tsuzuru doesn’t call him “Kazunari”. Instead he goes for the ever so formal “Miyoshi-san”. There’s no way Kazunari will complain out loud because it’s not like the others get any special treatment (except for the Spring troupe, the director, and Sakyo), but it does simmer a bit of bitterness in him.</p><p>No, he should be thankful that he can Tsuzuru in any capacity at all. Everytime Kazunari notices the gaps between when he died and when he had been reborn, it makes him think about whether there were lives in between that they just never met at all. Which is better, living without knowing or having to live over and over again, sometimes together, but mostly alone?</p><p>Kazunari wishes he were the former.</p><p> </p><p>“Miyoshi-san.”</p><p>The clicks of the keyboard don’t stop and Kazunari does his best to block his ears. They’ve fought again, a petty thing, but this time Kazunari is just <em> tired </em>. He keeps trying to be the peacemaker but he no longer has the emotional capacity for it. They can do this some other day when he doesn’t have some art project deadline looming over him. He doesn’t need to keep hearing “Miyoshi-san this” or “Miyoshi-san that” all while upset at such a small thing...it makes him mad at himself even more.</p><p>“Minagi-kun.” He can’t bring himself to say the name he wants to without the irritation consuming him. “Can you leave me alone?”</p><p>Kazunari doesn’t like being angry, in fact, he hates it, but there’s a big sigh that comes out of him when he hears the door click close. He pushes the palms of his hands to his eyes.</p><p><em> You’ve lived in a world where you were enemies on different sides and he wanted to kill you. You won’t die if he’s mad for a little while, </em>he reminds himself.</p><p> </p><p>Their dormitory’s bedrooms get a lot of sun when it rises. The sun doesn’t quite reach the corner where his laptop is but the bright light wakes him up anyway. He’s slumped over his desk, his blank screen staring right at his crusted eyes. Gosh, it’s a good thing he decided to switch to his glasses when it was getting later...wait his glasses are on the table. Guess he must have taken them off before he passed out? When he moves to stretch his arms, the blanket on his shoulders pools down to the floor. Was this Muku? He’s done it before when Kazunari had been cramming for a deadline (which is actually not as often as people would assume).</p><p>Then, he notices the candies.</p><p>The disorientation from waking up in an unideal position has been very real and confusing, but seeing <em> those </em> branded candies in particular stirs all systems in his mind to finally get his ass off the chair. He can only think of one person who knows what they mean to him. </p><p>When he whips his head around, he sees a figure at Muku’s table, obviously asleep. He squints his eyes. Is he still dreaming? He pinches himself before grabbing his glasses, and lo and behold, Tsuzuru Minagi in the flesh.</p><p>Did he stay here all night?</p><p> </p><p>“Tsuzurun, Tsuzurun,” he says gently as he softly shakes the other boy.</p><p>“Kazunari-san?”</p><p>Shell-shocked doesn’t cover it. He hasn’t heard that name from this person in literal hundreds of years.</p><p>“Yes?” Kazunari manages to choke out.</p><p>“I’m sorry about getting mad, it was just a small thing.”</p><p>He shakes his head. “It’s fine.” It’s too early to be tearing up right now. Thank goodness for glasses that hide such things.</p><p>Tsuzuru gives him a slight smile before falling back asleep, this time, holding Kazunari’s hand.</p><p>Kazunari squeezes it, praying <em> please, please, please </em> in his head. His heart swells and his mouth aches from smiling. This is surely one of his best lives.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, I hope you've enjoyed! Please leave a comment and tell me what you've thought of it! </p><p>twt: <a href="twitter.com/meclanitea">meclanitea</a><br/>tumblr: <a href="instablamwriter.tumblr.com">instablamwriter</a></p><p>Come and join my <a href="https://discord.gg/BwRPY9qyr9">tzkz server</a> if you are so inclined! 0u0</p></blockquote></div></div>
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